Thursday, March 26, 2009

The "why janus doesn't post" post (I better start posting again)

I feel like I owe you all a bit of an explanation....because well I do.

I have not been off my blog so much because I am just too busy, the truth is I am also a bit lazy. I have neglected my first love which is the quill and ink.

Writing used to be my therapy. When I was in school at times writing helped me through some times, and when I hit a certain wall later in my life I would sometimes sit in the corner of the bar and grill with my glass and belt out pages of material.

Years ago in another place and another time I found out I was going to be a father. Living far from my childhood home and barely keeping the electricity on I turned to my pen. In between interviews and bad paying side jobs I belted out a kids book of 12 chapters in hope of somehow raising the means to support my small little family.

Things went from bad to worse relationship-wise and I ended up coming back home with my tail between my legs and had to leave my son behind since I couldn't fight for myself and didn't have a way to fight for him. I didn't know how but I knew someday I would return.

Writing lost its love for me then. What was once so easy and natural caused me pain and sadness. I could write a little here and there and blogged to keep in practice but it never was the same after that.

I am married now and since then also grew up and found a job that gave me meaning as well as a check.

And today, I know for certain my son is coming home. Living with me after almost 7 years. A piece of me that has been missing for so long is at last back into place.

I can't be certain...but I think I feel my hand drawing for the pen again.

I think I got more than my son back, I think I got my soul again.

Thank you for helping me get here. If I post 1000 times or never did it again, I couldn't have done it without everyone out there that was with me.

the light is back in my life

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8 Comments:

Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

Motovation is great! Missing your little one really put a damper on your motovation. Even a new audience of just him can inspire you to greatness if you let it. He will never forget what you did just for him, n you will always be the hero.
When the grandkids started coming, I came up with an early years coloring book, otherwise I may've never tried!

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You must be over the moon about your son, Janus. I'm absolutely thrilled for you. Now go and enjoy having your son back! *big grin*

Hope you start writing again. I want to see a Janus Torrell book out there. (:

Frodo

7:29 PM  
Blogger Janus Torrell said...

I would be motivated to write, but I am too tired.

1:45 AM  
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