Thursday, March 26, 2009

The "why janus doesn't post" post (I better start posting again)

I feel like I owe you all a bit of an explanation....because well I do.

I have not been off my blog so much because I am just too busy, the truth is I am also a bit lazy. I have neglected my first love which is the quill and ink.

Writing used to be my therapy. When I was in school at times writing helped me through some times, and when I hit a certain wall later in my life I would sometimes sit in the corner of the bar and grill with my glass and belt out pages of material.

Years ago in another place and another time I found out I was going to be a father. Living far from my childhood home and barely keeping the electricity on I turned to my pen. In between interviews and bad paying side jobs I belted out a kids book of 12 chapters in hope of somehow raising the means to support my small little family.

Things went from bad to worse relationship-wise and I ended up coming back home with my tail between my legs and had to leave my son behind since I couldn't fight for myself and didn't have a way to fight for him. I didn't know how but I knew someday I would return.

Writing lost its love for me then. What was once so easy and natural caused me pain and sadness. I could write a little here and there and blogged to keep in practice but it never was the same after that.

I am married now and since then also grew up and found a job that gave me meaning as well as a check.

And today, I know for certain my son is coming home. Living with me after almost 7 years. A piece of me that has been missing for so long is at last back into place.

I can't be certain...but I think I feel my hand drawing for the pen again.

I think I got more than my son back, I think I got my soul again.

Thank you for helping me get here. If I post 1000 times or never did it again, I couldn't have done it without everyone out there that was with me.

the light is back in my life



Blogger Snaggle Tooth said...

Motovation is great! Missing your little one really put a damper on your motovation. Even a new audience of just him can inspire you to greatness if you let it. He will never forget what you did just for him, n you will always be the hero.
When the grandkids started coming, I came up with an early years coloring book, otherwise I may've never tried!

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You must be over the moon about your son, Janus. I'm absolutely thrilled for you. Now go and enjoy having your son back! *big grin*

Hope you start writing again. I want to see a Janus Torrell book out there. (:


7:29 PM  
Blogger Janus Torrell said...

I would be motivated to write, but I am too tired.

1:45 AM  
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