Pardon my candor. (Read only if you really like to read peoples complaining)

This blog was originally designed for me to rant and not worry about people knowing who I am.

I failed in that because I decided to share, so sometimes I am less inclined to be truthful because I am concerned about people knowing when I am really feeling like crap.


Today is one of those days.

So with no apologies I am feeling irritable and grouchy.

Ever regret getting involved and making closer relationships with people? Somedays I do. Friends and family is what makes life worth living, but somedays I wish I didn't bother. You are less disappointed when you are not close to people. You don't have to hear about peoples problems when you don't talk to people. Sometimes getting to know people is just plain useless and depressing. I don't care to go far into that one just yet.

Today the smoke alarm went off, and I didn't see anything remotely similar to a fire. Yet it scared me. I was afraid to leave the pets, I was afraid I would leave and my house would be gone. I am embarrassed to be afraid of fire even though it has been almost a year.

I still have days where I am afraid to come home and the house is gone.

Today I am consumed with frustration, fear, anger, and depression. Too bad that won't make me have a cool red light saber and be able to move things. Instead it is crippling. I want to be well. I want to be as good as other people. I want to feel as inspiring and loving today as I should be.

Now this is not prose and this is not for anyone in particular so I am not going to wrap it up in a nice polished ending.

I am debating obliterating this blog and sparing the world this drama.

I will sleep on it, but then who knows.

I've had it.