Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Self destruction of blog not approved by zoning

Well, we are still here.

I didn't push the self destruct button. Besides it just asks "Do you really want to delete this blog?" and doesn't even give me a cool count down sequence. No computer voice, no 10..9..8.., no nothing.
Since I am carrying over yesterdays conversation about lightsabers, today I have to rant about self destruct sequences. Do bad guys really worry about the good guys getting a hold of the secret lair that is normally so big you couldn't miss it, or do they all have self destruct sequences so that when they hire the evil contractors union they can shave some money off the estimate.

Dr. Evil: So we got the vats of acid, the missile silo, the escape pods, and the cool table with the trapdoors?

Evil Contractor: Yes, all good to go.

Dr. Evil: If you don't mind me asking, why do I have a giant exhaust door that they can fire a missile into and destroy my whole lair with?

Evil Contractor: Evil building codes require that we have giant exhaust doors for the sake of keeping the reactor cool.

Dr. Evil: Yes but wouldn't it be more logical to have a screen door on that?

Evil Contractor: That would require us getting permission from your evil homeowners association, and we have trouble getting them to call back. They insist that any external changes on your secret lair must be approved and match the exterior design of the other secret lairs in your association.

Dr. Evil: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Fine. Can I at least get rid of the self destruct feature this time, since my last 4 lairs have been blown up by someone pushing a big red button.

Evil Contractor: Well....we can. It would require us to customize your lair. You ordered factory model volcano lair template 17. We can remove the self destuct but that would require us to customize the design and we would have to call the association..

Dr. Evil: Oh to hell with it, talk to Frau, I need two advils and a beer.

So. Bad jokes aside. I have been here for 313 posts...I might as well stick around a while.
Don't forget me internet land.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you didn't self-destruct or set your blog on fire or in any other way disappear into the void. Voids are boring, for one thing.

Congrats for reaching 300+ posts!

7:15 AM  
Blogger Janus Torrell said...

woohoo...thank you Ned

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