I wish to hold that bliss a little longer
Yes, part 6 is coming up but tonight is the intermission evening, though I was thinking I will probably I will finish up the Journey of a Janus Testimony thing by the end of this week. So I might do a little two days in the row or so.
Other than informing ya (or warning you, depending on if you are enjoying it or not) of that, I have no Testimony or wedding updates for you. Something that I am sure will make at least a few of you a little happy. It is what is going on with me of course, but I don't generally get into grueling details about weddings of other people either. Rest assured, I am still almost in touch with reality.
Tomorrow is my first real pay day, and I am looking forward to that for certain. I am trying not to think of all the bills that already must be spoken for before I can enjoy it, just let me have my moment of bliss. I am getting a paycheck tomorrow, not a few 10 dollar bills after raking in a yard.
Now I do appreciate that friends and family have helped me out by giving me work while I was searching, so I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the cash I made here and there. Something though about the word "Paycheck" makes me feel legit and somewhat proud. I am not longer a hobo or working vagabond, I have a "real job." A certain amount of shame is lifted from my life, though I did not talk about this until now in fear that I might jinx things.
So by Tomorrow night I get to send out my bill for auto insurance and some funding to my partner James to get us all set up for the next year. I don't want to think about how much I have left after that, I am trying to bask. Just bask Janus....just bask.
The writing came along terrible this evening, though by no one elses fault. I was a little under the weather tonight so I ended up taking Wal-Bourne cold and flu prevention tablets and taking a nap that was much too long.
I am working on having 3 weeks worth of articles edited and ready to go ASAP for project number 2. My goal is to have things setup a month in advance by February (after the wedding stuff and holidays is over) so that we only have to occasionally meet, we can set up photo shoots and all that. Meanwhile James is transfering our server onto a new host, so he isn't expecting too much out of me.
Maybe it's the "under the weatherness", maybe it's because I didn't feel like I got alot done today, maybe its because I realize that I have many personal flaws to work out, and who know's how many other maybes...but I am feeling a little down this evening. Why is it after every great thing, I seem to sink into this sort of mood.
I wish I could be more organized like my brother Ed, he seems to have bad days too but always gets things done. I think it's just an older brother thing. When people hear that I am the youngest they say they can tell because I am not organized and very assertive. I hate thinking that my order of birth affects me so much, so I am going to try somehow or someway to rise above it.
I will start by getting these articles done at least. Besides it will get my mind off wedding plans which are stressful.
Other than informing ya (or warning you, depending on if you are enjoying it or not) of that, I have no Testimony or wedding updates for you. Something that I am sure will make at least a few of you a little happy. It is what is going on with me of course, but I don't generally get into grueling details about weddings of other people either. Rest assured, I am still almost in touch with reality.
Tomorrow is my first real pay day, and I am looking forward to that for certain. I am trying not to think of all the bills that already must be spoken for before I can enjoy it, just let me have my moment of bliss. I am getting a paycheck tomorrow, not a few 10 dollar bills after raking in a yard.
Now I do appreciate that friends and family have helped me out by giving me work while I was searching, so I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the cash I made here and there. Something though about the word "Paycheck" makes me feel legit and somewhat proud. I am not longer a hobo or working vagabond, I have a "real job." A certain amount of shame is lifted from my life, though I did not talk about this until now in fear that I might jinx things.
So by Tomorrow night I get to send out my bill for auto insurance and some funding to my partner James to get us all set up for the next year. I don't want to think about how much I have left after that, I am trying to bask. Just bask Janus....just bask.
The writing came along terrible this evening, though by no one elses fault. I was a little under the weather tonight so I ended up taking Wal-Bourne cold and flu prevention tablets and taking a nap that was much too long.
I am working on having 3 weeks worth of articles edited and ready to go ASAP for project number 2. My goal is to have things setup a month in advance by February (after the wedding stuff and holidays is over) so that we only have to occasionally meet, we can set up photo shoots and all that. Meanwhile James is transfering our server onto a new host, so he isn't expecting too much out of me.
Maybe it's the "under the weatherness", maybe it's because I didn't feel like I got alot done today, maybe its because I realize that I have many personal flaws to work out, and who know's how many other maybes...but I am feeling a little down this evening. Why is it after every great thing, I seem to sink into this sort of mood.
I wish I could be more organized like my brother Ed, he seems to have bad days too but always gets things done. I think it's just an older brother thing. When people hear that I am the youngest they say they can tell because I am not organized and very assertive. I hate thinking that my order of birth affects me so much, so I am going to try somehow or someway to rise above it.
I will start by getting these articles done at least. Besides it will get my mind off wedding plans which are stressful.
Labels: rants, Updates, work stuff
posted by Janus Torrell at 10:17 PM
4 Comments:
Sorry you're not feeling so good Janus. Keep taking those flu tablets, and take things easy for a while. Hopefully you will feel better soon.
Tomorrow, you should do something really special with your first paycheck. Forget the bills, just enjoy it. Go wild, and treat yourself. The first paycheck is the best!
Take care.
Frodo :)
Thanks Frodo, I am feeling a little better today though still I am guarded in saying that and knocking on my wooden desk.
ha ha...forget the bills and do something special. I wish it were so easy, but I need Car insurance and besides going out for Japanese food and ordering alot of Saki I don't think of anything that I could blow that money on. But I appreciate the thought.
There's something empowering about having the paycheck and thinking of paying those bills. Once you actually do it and are broke again, well, the feeling wears off.
the thrill was about 20 minutes after I brought it home...its already gone.
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