Perspective
I am really charged up from some encouraging news about my situation. I am smiling again and I am feeling more confident these last few days.
My problem still looms ahead, but I had a talk with the expert and I was reassured. I have been surrounded by many friends and family as of late that have let me know that not only am I not alone but I am thought of.
I just wish I was able to help those that are closer to the fire. My heart aches for those that are thrown into this situation but do not feel the support and strength I am feeling right now. I wish I knew how to help them, I can only pray for them.
I wish my old anger and unforgiving part of me would stay away. After years of being scared and feeling powerless I am tempted to want to gloat at my opposition. I need to keep my perspective. This isn't a win or lose battle for my own sake. This is for them.
I will not let this turn into my petty sweet revenge. This is not about me damnit, this is about them. This is for God, this is for them.
This is for him.
God please help me be the right way, God please help me do things for the right reasons.
Let me give him what he deserves. Let me be who I need to be.
Thanks for all the folks that have been praying and keeping me in mind all this time. Despite the long silences. Please keep praying and thinking of me. You are making a difference.
My problem still looms ahead, but I had a talk with the expert and I was reassured. I have been surrounded by many friends and family as of late that have let me know that not only am I not alone but I am thought of.
I just wish I was able to help those that are closer to the fire. My heart aches for those that are thrown into this situation but do not feel the support and strength I am feeling right now. I wish I knew how to help them, I can only pray for them.
I wish my old anger and unforgiving part of me would stay away. After years of being scared and feeling powerless I am tempted to want to gloat at my opposition. I need to keep my perspective. This isn't a win or lose battle for my own sake. This is for them.
I will not let this turn into my petty sweet revenge. This is not about me damnit, this is about them. This is for God, this is for them.
This is for him.
God please help me be the right way, God please help me do things for the right reasons.
Let me give him what he deserves. Let me be who I need to be.
Thanks for all the folks that have been praying and keeping me in mind all this time. Despite the long silences. Please keep praying and thinking of me. You are making a difference.
Labels: faith, family, shorty rant
posted by Janus Torrell at 11:06 PM
5 Comments:
I know God is gonna blow your mind.
Love you-- Bella
Glad things are looking up for you.
Things are gonna work out fine. You have all your friends and family right behind you.
Try to stay as positive as you can Janus.
Take care.
Frodo
Thank ya both! :D
Yep, you're still in my daily petition list.
I also ask daily "Please take my bitterness for what people do away"
Old hurts seem to remain painfull forever, I notice.
Yeah it does doesn't it. I have to work every day on it, I want to get it out of my system...particularly the closer to the day of my reckoning. I want to do things for the best of reasons you know.
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