Janus becomes a citizen.
Today while I was downtown I decided to visit the "new" library which was pretty much built right next to the "old library" about 2 feet away. I had been to old one a few times since I rolled into town a few years ago, but today I decided to embrace my new exciting lifestyle.
I got my library card.
Ok...new lifestyle, "exciting" in the previous paragraphs can be stricken and removed from the record.
The town I grew up in didn't have a library in it since it was too small and they probably couldn't afford a librarian unless he moonlighted as a postmaster. When I was a kid I had to either borrow books from my school library, which never had anything that was written after 1941, or I would have to go to the nearest city that had a library and would usually have to pay a fee to get a card and leave a shoe when I borrow a book to make sure that I come back.
So I kept waiting for the librarian to give me the bill. Finally she explained that since I was now a "Citizen" that I got a free library card. Wow, the taxes have allowed me to be able to check out books for free. I was just going to ask if the Township paid my late fees when I forget to bring a book back for about 3 months, when she started having me sign forms.
Then she gave me a whole bunch of forms and something that said "Welcome to your local library." I was trying to figure out if I was applying for a passport and vacation packages with the big stack that they gave me.
"Please stand in front of the blue background." she said pointing over to the wall. I tried to look suave and casual for the photograph but I was too busy wondering if I was standing inside the blue background at the right angle. "Smile at the count of three," she said. I am glad she warned me because I was waiting for her to actually stand next to the camera and didn't realize it all worked from her desk.
Three...two...one.. and I am blinded by the flash.
"That's a nice picture," she said and then pulls my library card out of the machine.
I guess all those years of reading books under those cheap government ceiling lights must of hurt her eyesight pretty bad. I looked at my photo and realized that I look like a serial killer who is trying to look suave and casual and wondering if he is standing at the right angle. I also noticed that I am getting fatter in the face and I can't blame it on defective mirrors anymore.
So Citizen Janus then proudly got his library card, and realized that he had no idea what he was going to read. So I tried to pick out something Horror, something adventure, and something entertaining. Walked up to the desk and handed some other woman my wanted poster card.
They will be due September 8th.
You mean I don't have to bring them back in a week like the school library? Wow, it's great being a citizen.
I got my library card.
Ok...new lifestyle, "exciting" in the previous paragraphs can be stricken and removed from the record.
The town I grew up in didn't have a library in it since it was too small and they probably couldn't afford a librarian unless he moonlighted as a postmaster. When I was a kid I had to either borrow books from my school library, which never had anything that was written after 1941, or I would have to go to the nearest city that had a library and would usually have to pay a fee to get a card and leave a shoe when I borrow a book to make sure that I come back.
So I kept waiting for the librarian to give me the bill. Finally she explained that since I was now a "Citizen" that I got a free library card. Wow, the taxes have allowed me to be able to check out books for free. I was just going to ask if the Township paid my late fees when I forget to bring a book back for about 3 months, when she started having me sign forms.
Then she gave me a whole bunch of forms and something that said "Welcome to your local library." I was trying to figure out if I was applying for a passport and vacation packages with the big stack that they gave me.
"Please stand in front of the blue background." she said pointing over to the wall. I tried to look suave and casual for the photograph but I was too busy wondering if I was standing inside the blue background at the right angle. "Smile at the count of three," she said. I am glad she warned me because I was waiting for her to actually stand next to the camera and didn't realize it all worked from her desk.
Three...two...one.. and I am blinded by the flash.
"That's a nice picture," she said and then pulls my library card out of the machine.
I guess all those years of reading books under those cheap government ceiling lights must of hurt her eyesight pretty bad. I looked at my photo and realized that I look like a serial killer who is trying to look suave and casual and wondering if he is standing at the right angle. I also noticed that I am getting fatter in the face and I can't blame it on defective mirrors anymore.
So Citizen Janus then proudly got his library card, and realized that he had no idea what he was going to read. So I tried to pick out something Horror, something adventure, and something entertaining. Walked up to the desk and handed some other woman my wanted poster card.
They will be due September 8th.
You mean I don't have to bring them back in a week like the school library? Wow, it's great being a citizen.
Labels: rants, social tripe
posted by Janus Torrell at 5:16 AM
8 Comments:
Speaking of citizens, last year we were at the airport in Norway waiting to be allowed in the country. They had two queues, one titled Citizens and one titled Aliens. I searched all the aliens and none were green they all looked a lot like me (lol).
Glenni
So the library is lending out books for free now? Wow!
So is Citizen Janus enjoying his horror book, his adventure book, and his entertaining book then?
Frodo
I see you get excited about cotton-picking, tail-wagging adjectival adjectives too.
My mate here at the cave went out in the world to learn how to trick people into believing she has now become qualified to receive regular paychecks, simply for showing up daily at the Hoohooville high school. Those innocent members who run the place there intentionally presented her with a full set of keys, which specifically allow full access to their spacious library. Nowadays, she tells me, they say Media Center, and so sweet the sound, one can almost resist throwing bricks at their pretentiousness.
I, too, was amazed to find how liberal have become. Your local shelves lack something? Ask about interlibrary loans. Want to watch movies on DVDs for free? Check those out. Want to meet the girl of your dreams who will embarrass your momma and impress your buddies? Call me after nine in the evenings: I run a small sort of library of my own.
Glenni- Here come the men in black...
Raf- I don't know how much 50 franks are, but I used to have to pay quite a bit and often because I was a whole 10 minutes out of the tax district at the other library.
Actually the paperwork wasn't bad to fill out. I only had to sign 3 places. The rest of the paperwork was "Learn about your Library."
Frodo- Oh yeah I am enjoying, I got the Screwtape Letters, Stephen King's Carrie, and um..the Hobbit.
Harry- Oh the Media Center borrowing sounds like an exciting perk I hadn't learned about. DVD borrowing whoohoo...that means I have to watch the ones I got for Christmas last year to have room.
Wow! Almost as exciting as when you became a legal resident! Just don't lose your library books under the bed or you will have to incur the wrath of the librarian!
-the librarian once formerly known as Sheed
No worries there...I will lose them in my backpack
Walking to the library was a ritual activity when I was a teen, my friend and I spent many happy hours there.
Of course, I think I was the only 16 year old who was checking out Fats Waller records, so the librarian watched us very carefully.
Watch out though, Libraries are getting really serious about those overdue books.
I wish it would ask me to type the same set of letters for word verification each time, just as soon as I got em memorized, they change em.
I might turn off the word verification for a while.
But if I start getting Viagra commericals again, I will have to put it up.
I hate having to fill it in too.
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