Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Mild Mannered.

I suppose part of my upbringing is the reason why some of my friend's consider me entertaining or a little weird. My parents both worked a lot when I was little, so I spent many of my very young days at my Grandma and Grandpa's house. I didn't meet a lot of other children then until I went to school, so I spent a lot of time reading and talking to my Grandparents.
Since they were both from very reserved and old fashioned homes, even by their standards, I learned alot about proper behavior from my Dad's parents. I remember being told how to hold the fork like a human and not a primate, my please's and thank you's, how not to slurp the soup, and how to drink tea without chugging it. I learned more about manners in those quiet and innocent days than I ever thought I could.
You would think that manners were a great thing to learn, but I found out that when I went to school a lot of the other kids found it odd. It never really rubbed on to my brother and sister as much as me, I guess I was more prone to brainwashing from my elders. Now I am trying to unlearn some of the things I was taught for my own sanity.
1. You don't always need a fork and knife. My grandparents really wanted me to learn how to use silverware. In fact they gave me silverware for Christmas, it was the exciting thing to give to your grandchildren back in the day. Though personally a few action figures would of been nice once in a while.
I never learned to eat with my hands, and used silverware or plastic utensils (if I didn't have any) My friends used to love watching me eat corn on a cob, pizza, turkey drumsticks, and jello with a fork and a knife. I think people served turkey Legs and sweet corn just for the entertainment value. The Medieval Times restaurant sounds scary since I hear they don't use silverware there because it wasn't used in the old days...but apparently they had Pepsi. Sporks are evil.
I am pleased to say that now I eat corn and frozen pizza with my hands, though I still will grab a fork, knife, and spoon when I bring my plate to the table even if I am having Frosted Mini Wheats. I am still working on touching drumsticks though without trying to cut them with a fork and knife and drive the people around me insane.
2. You don't have to always hold the door open for people. I always used to get in front of people and hold the door open.
I found out in high school that when I open the car door or entering door for certain ladies that they wonder what is wrong with me. Or they usually get to the door and have it open before I can beat them to it. Though now some of the ladies that have known me for a long time will wait for me to open the door for them so as to humor me.
Also opening the doors for people is sometimes as bad as trying to make a left turn during rush hour. People walk slower or faster, and you could hold the door until the restaurant closes if you insist on being too polite. Now after I let one or two people out I make sure someone has their hand ready to catch the door. I finally stopped feeling horrible about letting people operate the door without my assistance.
And finally 3. You don't have to send a card or sign a note to a guestbook. At least not everytime. My Grandmother could be downright psychotic when it came to sending thank you cards, writing letters, and sending thank you cards when people sent her thank you cards.
I am glad I am not famous, because if I sat at a table and wrote autographs I would die of exhaustion at the event. I would try to write something unique and special for each person, and that can be just impossible.
My friend gave me his yearbook and I wrote a dedication and signed my name and the poor guy thought that I was not going to ever give it back. When I go on vacation and I see a guest book at a national park I usually write something way too long. I like to send cards or sign comment sections to let people know I was there and enjoyed it.
I was told I didn't have to do this unless I really really had something to say, and that people don't find it rude if you don't sign every single year book and registry. I will make an active effort to try not to sign everything unless I really have something to say other than "I really enjoyed it", though everyone always has something really interesting that I want to add to as soon as I try to be less obsessive compulsive of a correspondent.
That's the breaks.
Apparently my manners have rubbed off on some people around me, like on my good friend Karl. He no longer just grunts and points to the fridge, he occasionally will inquire if I would like a beer, and if I say yes he will ask if I want it out of the bottle or with some damn ice in a cup.
...Well I am still working on that with him.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Harry said...

Being mannerly sure presents a major dilemma nowadays: Is it proper to scowl at the scoffers we hold doors for, them with their disdainful attitudes, or are we allowed to snarl first, and then snatch certain ones of them baldheaded for acting so rude toward our kind-hearted efforts?

RSVP

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was that idiotic woman who would rush in front of you, open the door, and then just let it slam behind me. I never quite comprehended the whole chivalrous thing cuz all my exes were not. Hell, I just aint used to bein' a lady. I like to wear pants, spit, swear and cause a ruckus.
well I did...
But I really appreciate it now when anyone actually uses silverware, opens the door for me, oh yeah, and puts up with my obnoxious not so nice habits.
-The tomboy preciously known as Sheed

11:55 PM  
Blogger Janus Torrell said...

Chivalry isn't dead..but it is definatly in remission. Just try to drive on 88 at about 5:00 and you will have the proof of that.

5:14 AM  

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