restless night sighs
It is 2 am and I pace the wooden floors of my house with the click clack sounds of Sammy following behind me.
The sleeping pills may kick in soon. My mind is alive and everywhere at once tonight. My thoughts on the ones I love on the other side of the country, My heart feels for good friends that are facing tough times, my heart thinks of my lovely wife asleep behind me.
I fear the future and uncertainty. Normally I am not long seeing and I am able to go for the ride. To see and anticipate the worst is hell in itself. God is in control. God is in control, I just wish he would fill me in a bit on whats going on.
I spent a lot of time here at 2:30 in the morning once. I never thought I could feel about so much people and feel so helpless. I wish I knew what I could do to make things better. Half my life I was able to do so much good and I didn't, now I wish I could do some good and I am unable to.
I need to do something...anything. Perhaps tomorrow.
The sleeping pills may kick in soon. My mind is alive and everywhere at once tonight. My thoughts on the ones I love on the other side of the country, My heart feels for good friends that are facing tough times, my heart thinks of my lovely wife asleep behind me.
I fear the future and uncertainty. Normally I am not long seeing and I am able to go for the ride. To see and anticipate the worst is hell in itself. God is in control. God is in control, I just wish he would fill me in a bit on whats going on.
I spent a lot of time here at 2:30 in the morning once. I never thought I could feel about so much people and feel so helpless. I wish I knew what I could do to make things better. Half my life I was able to do so much good and I didn't, now I wish I could do some good and I am unable to.
I need to do something...anything. Perhaps tomorrow.
Labels: faith, family, rants, work stuff
posted by Janus Torrell at 1:47 AM
3 Comments:
I was dreaming about you my love!
xxoo Bella
Janus, I have not been around much of late, nevertheless I am still reading.
A long time ago I was (sort of) where you are. Then, one day someone took me aside and said this to me..
"When you pray leave out the asking for Strength bit. The fact is that ALL those who believe already HAVE the Strength they require through His love. Instead, ask for guidance; HE knows what path is set before you tho', as yet, it may not be expedient for You to know it."
I spent a long time pondering this because I wanted to DO SOMETHING and, I wanted it done NOW!
His way is NOT our way Janus. The little we 'seem' to do is not so little to His plans.
I came to your blog what seems a long time ago now but, throughout it all your honesty and integrity shines through. Above all tho' is your undoubted Faith. Armed with that Janus, you have already made a difference. It may not be apparent to you, but it has!
Anyway. I just wanted you to know that making a difference can sometimes be a quiet road.
All good things.
Fractal
Thanks Bella and Cat
Things are already looking up
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