Telly's new place
I am slowly getting back up from being sick.
Has it been a month?
Does anyone read this anymore?
Why do I ask questions that are pointless?
Today I saw Telly. To fill you in, I used to take care of Telly but he went to "a home" over a month ago. So on the way back from the Box I decided to drop by and see him. It is very difficult to talk to him because he has a problem hearing but also not a lot to say.
When you live in a place and the highlight of the day is waiting an hour for dinner since you want to get there early and get a better table.... It was hard to see him to be perfectly honest, since I didn't know what to talk about.
"How do you like it here?" Good... "How is the food" Good....
It was also hard to see that he is getting older and slowing down even more. It has been about a month and he seems to have aged years since our last meeting. Same shirt, same smile, but something different.
I also saw a room full of people that had the same sad looks. People with gray and white hairs, people that had walkers and wheelchairs, people that had a problem even holding their head up. Quite different from the independent living homes, a nursing home seems more like a gloomy prison. The staff was nice enough, but you can't help but feel the futility.
I know that they have a few other floors for people that have Dementia. I thought the first floor was gloomy enough. I think I will stay away from that floor unless I have to.
I fear getting older. I am scared I will end up in a cafeteria with a bib anxiously awaiting my hot dog for an hour so I can have a chair facing a TV. This reminds me of why I do what I do, to try to bring a little light in that darkness.
He asked when I was coming back, I told him I would drop by next Thursday on the way back from work. Somewhere along the way I got adopted into his family.
Has it been a month?
Does anyone read this anymore?
Why do I ask questions that are pointless?
Today I saw Telly. To fill you in, I used to take care of Telly but he went to "a home" over a month ago. So on the way back from the Box I decided to drop by and see him. It is very difficult to talk to him because he has a problem hearing but also not a lot to say.
When you live in a place and the highlight of the day is waiting an hour for dinner since you want to get there early and get a better table.... It was hard to see him to be perfectly honest, since I didn't know what to talk about.
"How do you like it here?" Good... "How is the food" Good....
It was also hard to see that he is getting older and slowing down even more. It has been about a month and he seems to have aged years since our last meeting. Same shirt, same smile, but something different.
I also saw a room full of people that had the same sad looks. People with gray and white hairs, people that had walkers and wheelchairs, people that had a problem even holding their head up. Quite different from the independent living homes, a nursing home seems more like a gloomy prison. The staff was nice enough, but you can't help but feel the futility.
I know that they have a few other floors for people that have Dementia. I thought the first floor was gloomy enough. I think I will stay away from that floor unless I have to.
I fear getting older. I am scared I will end up in a cafeteria with a bib anxiously awaiting my hot dog for an hour so I can have a chair facing a TV. This reminds me of why I do what I do, to try to bring a little light in that darkness.
He asked when I was coming back, I told him I would drop by next Thursday on the way back from work. Somewhere along the way I got adopted into his family.
Labels: rants, work stuff
posted by Janus Torrell at 7:50 PM
4 Comments:
I worked in a "home" for over a decade, so I know those faces, those rooms, the long tables, the long waits, the sameness of days.
He doesn't need brilliant conversation, or entertainment. Just a friendly, caring face, a familiar voice, the presence of another who knows "him" and can talk to Telly, the man and not the resident from Room # whatever. Loneliness and a loss of self is often what separates those on upper floors from those on lower floors. Sometimes, there's no point in being sane.
Visit him. It can be hard and uncomfortable, but it will be the greatest act of kindness and friendship you could ever perform.
Oh I agree. It is sad and awkward but it is what I do.
He lit up when he recogonized me, and he looked so sad when I had to leave.
It is easier if I have to go somewhere otherwise after a while, otherwise I wouldn't be able to leave until he has to sleep
That is sad about Telly. I didn't know he had moved into a home.
As Ned said, he just needs someone who knows 'him'. And he obviously values your friendship. And you don't have to sit and talk the whole time. Watch TV with him, or play dominoes. Can you take him out into the grounds for a while?
You have a heart of gold Janus Torrell. (:
Frodo
It must really comfort him to know you care enough to visit when you don't even work there! It's a big difference you're making for him.
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