Karaoke, or why I can't enjoy a Killians on Tuesday anymore.

Now I am not a drunkard, nor do I frequently go bar hopping anymore. (Drinking for the most part lost it's appeal when it became legal for me and a brief stint of excess.) However I will be the first to tell you that I like having a cool mug of Killians or a bottle of Corona once in a while, especially after a hot day of working outside or a lousy rainy day.
I think a lot of people have a romantic view of bars (Romantic as in being glamorous and not puppy loveish.) They think of a place with tall full glasses, a guy with a mustache, people laughing and singing sea shanties. Well...that would be a pub perhaps or a tavern but definitely not a bar.
A bar is a place where people are usually watching a game on a television, occasionally you have a dart game, a pool game, or one of those obnoxious golf or hunting arcade games. Sometimes they have a live band which makes it impossible to talk to anyone else in the same room without shouting over some guy singing music from the Eagles.
Tuesday night however is the worst. It had been a long day and I decided I could have a little brew and some nachos and relax in a hole in the wall place on the edge of town. I figured Tuesday would be a quiet night afterall.
I should of left when I arrived and I found the place crowded but I suppose I thought it was just a fluke. I didn't see instruments set up, so it wasn't a live band tonight at least. That's when I found out the horrible truth...Tuesday is Karaoke night.
Karaoke means "Empty Orchestra" in Japanese according to Wikipedia. Since Wikipedia is not always accurate though I think it means "Drunks Singing Badly" in some other dialect. Basically it allows the general public a chance to sing badly and to make a fool of themselves.
Now some people can actually sing out there, I know I can't. Some people are incredibly tone deaf and to let them sing in public is a war crime. Drunk people seem to think that they are the next American Idol if you give them a few shots of whiskey and a microphone.
Who am I to critique their singing? Well I already told you I can't sing, but I don't subject an entire crowd to me pretending I can. You can sing badly all you want, but save it for the shower or the car. So if I have to listen to you sing an offkey and slurring tribute to "Open Arms" by Journey after I already paid to have a beer and relax, I am sorry I have the right to critique your singing.
Apparently Journey is one of the most popular bands for a drunk to try to imitate. I think if your going to try to music you should maybe start with something a little easier when your drunk. I don't have any ideas, but maybe the folks over at Rhythms and Riffs can give some suggestions.
Meanwhile, I am going to try to have my occasional cold beer at my house or at Rob's maybe. He at least can sing in key and can play instruments too. Besides it's cheaper to relax and home and I am less likely to get hit by a random wayward dart. (That's another story now)