Really Silent Alarms...

Well I needed to put a conclusion on yesterdays rant, and I figured. Why not now.

CCC, the church I am attending is doing a series about Silent Alarms. Which is about things in our life that God wants me to pay attention to so we don't miss out on life.

This truthfully isn't about the series or the book, but it is about a very silent alarm.

I mentioned yesterday in "Bad Salesman" that I sold a bunch of over priced junk to get a prize. That prize was an alarm clock that was shaped like a baseball, and to shut it off you threw it against the wall and that woke you up. Crude but effective eh?

After paying for shipping and handling (Another fine print detail that I failed to notice when I signed up) I got my amazing baseball alarm clock after waiting for the 4-6 weeks of delivery.

I couldn't wait to try it out, and the next morning when my alarm went off I threw it. SMACK right into the wall. I believe I knocked some paint off and I knocked a painting down while the baseball went "Strikkkkkkkkkke!" I went back to sleep but the alarm went off again so I had to walk across the room and shut it off. It did seem to be pretty effective.

The next day I used it, I threw it again. This time instead of hitting the wall I hit the window, and smashed it. The Baseball alarm bounced down the stones by the flower bed and almost beaned my mother while she was working outside. It eventually was beaten to death from the rocks and it uttered one last pitiful.."Strikkkkkkkkke" (Which sounded more like the demon possessed girl from the Exorcist) and it never uttered a sound again.

So the clock ended up costing the cost of shipping and handling, an incredible amount of candy sales, the cost of the window and to fix the wall. Yay Capitalism. My mom wasn't too thrilled about nearly being killed by a baseball shape alarm clock either.

So now I don't believe advertisements anymore, I gave up on being a salesman, and I have the alarm clock on the other side of the room and not very easy to throw.

I am sure the neighbors appreciate that too.