Wasting away in Maryland
This one came from one of my news searching friends that knew I could not resist an article like this. I was kind of worried, because I was going to write something serious at first today. The stuff that frightens my readers, who come to this blog to get away from the frightening things in the news, like Paris Hilton's Music Video (see about the second article down at the preceding link for more on that shocker.)
Today's blog comes from Fox News and actually gave me something to laugh about, which I really needed yesterday.
Apparently some guy with a few bolts loose has confessed to being Usama Bin Laden, who must be the little cousin of Osama Bin Laden, you know the one that everyone doesn't talk about at the Bin Laden annual reunion picnic who sniffs modeling glue and screams that the people of Pluto are really pissed that they are no longer considered to be living on a planet.
Mr. Usama Bin Laden was apparently arrested and taken in for a psychiatric evaluation but after determining that he wasn't "The" Bin Laden that they hoped he was released onto the poor traffic of Maryland.
Not too long after that Usama was determined to prove that he would not be overlooked by Homeland Security anymore and decided to lead the police on a lovely refreshing high speed chase throughout the city. After managing not to hit anything for a while, Usama decided to stop his car by plowing into 3 other cars at an intersection.
The police thought that it was almost over...but they were wrong. The wicked criminal mastermind brandished his weapon "a blender" and the police probably considered calling Jimmy Buffet in to negotiate a hostage release. Then they decided just to arrest him, and try to put him back into the hospital for hopefully a much longer evaluation this time. When he is released Mr. Bin Laden may get an endorsement from Hamilton Beach. No Margaritas were harmed in this brief showdown.
Now who says the news is boring.
Today's blog comes from Fox News and actually gave me something to laugh about, which I really needed yesterday.
Apparently some guy with a few bolts loose has confessed to being Usama Bin Laden, who must be the little cousin of Osama Bin Laden, you know the one that everyone doesn't talk about at the Bin Laden annual reunion picnic who sniffs modeling glue and screams that the people of Pluto are really pissed that they are no longer considered to be living on a planet.
Mr. Usama Bin Laden was apparently arrested and taken in for a psychiatric evaluation but after determining that he wasn't "The" Bin Laden that they hoped he was released onto the poor traffic of Maryland.
Not too long after that Usama was determined to prove that he would not be overlooked by Homeland Security anymore and decided to lead the police on a lovely refreshing high speed chase throughout the city. After managing not to hit anything for a while, Usama decided to stop his car by plowing into 3 other cars at an intersection.
The police thought that it was almost over...but they were wrong. The wicked criminal mastermind brandished his weapon "a blender" and the police probably considered calling Jimmy Buffet in to negotiate a hostage release. Then they decided just to arrest him, and try to put him back into the hospital for hopefully a much longer evaluation this time. When he is released Mr. Bin Laden may get an endorsement from Hamilton Beach. No Margaritas were harmed in this brief showdown.
Now who says the news is boring.
Labels: rants, social tripe
posted by Janus Torrell at 1:58 AM
4 Comments:
Great article, Rollo would be proud of you.
Small household appliances are more dangerous than people think. The plastic housings of coffee pots melt down causing huge conflagrations in the home, blenders could puree your fingertips if you forget to shut it off before you dip a finger for a taste.
I should think it would be very annoying to be the world's foremost terrorist and have the police utterly ignore you. They are just lucky he didn't come after them with a hand-held mixer or any of those scary Ronco products.
Set the IRS on him - they'll do the business.
Soft-shelled crabs, free ponies, and terrific news; Maryland has it all.
I suppose the blender might be more frightening if he didn't have the lid on it and he plugged it in.
Always a hitch.
The IRS is really scary though.
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