Fair's Fair with family
Friday I wrote a shorty section about the fair that I hadn't been to yet. Now that I actually went and came back and haven't fallen asleep yet I figured I would give you a little update about the exciting day in Elkhorn Wisconsin.
Elkhorn has a pretty large fair and my family has gone to it many times, for reasons that only my father really knows. It has all the things that fairs need like; Lots of greasy and unhealthy food (yum), Rides, people selling a variety of crap from little booths, exhibits, and animals.
Since it was a long day I will just shorten it up for you.
1. We ate alot of food
It will take 2 weeks and plenty of prilosec to get rid of my heartburn. They had the BBQ chicken sandwiches, elephant ears (those poor elephants), funnel cakes, dawgs, cheese nuggets, cotton candy, and more stuff thanI care to list and that you would ever want to read.
Between the nine of us we probably ate a little of about everything. That's what happens when you take a bunch of Torrells and put them in the middle of concession stands when they haven't had dinner yet. My family forgot themselves and hallucinated that we were at the Taste of Chicago and just started buying and eating everything we could get our mitts on.
I didn't find a beer tent though, very disappointing there.
2. We saw alot of animals My nephew had never been to a fair before, and was enjoying petting any animal that didn't try to bite his hand off. Cattle, pigs, sheep, and a bunch of animals that you couldn't pet were everywhere. I might of enjoyed it more if I didn't see "Purchased by" and grocery store chains listed by the prize ribbons. Glad my nephew couldn't read and didn't ask me to read the signs.
I am not a vegan (formerly called a vegetarian back in my day) and no one likes a big bucket of chicken or a steak more than I do. I don't like to know the name of the animal that I am going to eat though nor do I want to see them alive before eating. I live in denial, I prefer to think that meat comes from the "meat fairy" who magically brings my steak to Jewel which is made from waving her wand in thin air.
3. We saw alot of people selling stuff
I feel bad for the kids at this point. Ever impatiently waiting for the rides, they have to follow us boring adults around as we look at exciting things like; time share fake raffles, quilt raffles, the guy that carves your name into a piece of wood, and people trying to give you free pencils.
After a while I wanted to go on the rides too, so lets skip to that.
4. Rides Rides Rides! This is what makes a fair a fair and not a glorified flea market. Ride prices are not cheap here anymore since I was a kid, and I sold my left kidney to get myself on the Ferris Wheel and Bumper Cars.
The Ferris Wheel is great because it is the most frightening ride in the fair. Not due to it's speed or the heights, but because you might accidently look at the weld holding your seat in the air and preventing you from crashing to the earth. I think we were held up by a twisty tie and Elmer's glue.
That's part of the thrill. We somehow manager to fit 4 adults and 2 children into one of the ferris wheel booths, and when I sat down I could of swore I heard a creaking sound. The view was beautiful, and since I am writing this...we did not plummet to our death after all.
The last ride I went on before leaving was the bumper cars. I waited in line with my younger niece to ride along with her. As we got our chance to race, she decided to drive her own car so I got my own car too. First time I think I ever got out of having to share the car. The man gave me an odd look, because apparently 30 year olds are not supposed to drive bumper cars alone without a child telling us how to steer.
Had a great time ramming everyone with my bumper car, my back is out of commission for a few days, but it was a great time.
Talk to you again later
Elkhorn has a pretty large fair and my family has gone to it many times, for reasons that only my father really knows. It has all the things that fairs need like; Lots of greasy and unhealthy food (yum), Rides, people selling a variety of crap from little booths, exhibits, and animals.
Since it was a long day I will just shorten it up for you.
1. We ate alot of food
It will take 2 weeks and plenty of prilosec to get rid of my heartburn. They had the BBQ chicken sandwiches, elephant ears (those poor elephants), funnel cakes, dawgs, cheese nuggets, cotton candy, and more stuff thanI care to list and that you would ever want to read.
Between the nine of us we probably ate a little of about everything. That's what happens when you take a bunch of Torrells and put them in the middle of concession stands when they haven't had dinner yet. My family forgot themselves and hallucinated that we were at the Taste of Chicago and just started buying and eating everything we could get our mitts on.
I didn't find a beer tent though, very disappointing there.
2. We saw alot of animals My nephew had never been to a fair before, and was enjoying petting any animal that didn't try to bite his hand off. Cattle, pigs, sheep, and a bunch of animals that you couldn't pet were everywhere. I might of enjoyed it more if I didn't see "Purchased by" and grocery store chains listed by the prize ribbons. Glad my nephew couldn't read and didn't ask me to read the signs.
I am not a vegan (formerly called a vegetarian back in my day) and no one likes a big bucket of chicken or a steak more than I do. I don't like to know the name of the animal that I am going to eat though nor do I want to see them alive before eating. I live in denial, I prefer to think that meat comes from the "meat fairy" who magically brings my steak to Jewel which is made from waving her wand in thin air.
3. We saw alot of people selling stuff
I feel bad for the kids at this point. Ever impatiently waiting for the rides, they have to follow us boring adults around as we look at exciting things like; time share fake raffles, quilt raffles, the guy that carves your name into a piece of wood, and people trying to give you free pencils.
After a while I wanted to go on the rides too, so lets skip to that.
4. Rides Rides Rides! This is what makes a fair a fair and not a glorified flea market. Ride prices are not cheap here anymore since I was a kid, and I sold my left kidney to get myself on the Ferris Wheel and Bumper Cars.
The Ferris Wheel is great because it is the most frightening ride in the fair. Not due to it's speed or the heights, but because you might accidently look at the weld holding your seat in the air and preventing you from crashing to the earth. I think we were held up by a twisty tie and Elmer's glue.
That's part of the thrill. We somehow manager to fit 4 adults and 2 children into one of the ferris wheel booths, and when I sat down I could of swore I heard a creaking sound. The view was beautiful, and since I am writing this...we did not plummet to our death after all.
The last ride I went on before leaving was the bumper cars. I waited in line with my younger niece to ride along with her. As we got our chance to race, she decided to drive her own car so I got my own car too. First time I think I ever got out of having to share the car. The man gave me an odd look, because apparently 30 year olds are not supposed to drive bumper cars alone without a child telling us how to steer.
Had a great time ramming everyone with my bumper car, my back is out of commission for a few days, but it was a great time.
Talk to you again later
posted by Janus Torrell at 3:52 AM
6 Comments:
I like it when one of the bumper cars gets stuck and all the others have fun ramming him while he tries to get going again. But I didn't know there was an age limit on those things. Who do I send my protest to?
Fairs need to have like 3 stages... here is the pig, here is where we slaughter the pig, here is where we cook and eat the pig. Pig races too? Maybe there can be pig rides... MMM bacon bacon bacon....
Now I am hungry!
-the never been queen of the fair formerly known as Sheed
I was fair game since everyone wanted to hit the "Geezer" I spent more time avoiding getting hit to make it more challenging.
I think protests are sent to The lady with a beard that operates the Tilt a Whirl.
mmmmm Bacon. I am going to go make a BLT
What a great time. Corndogs and cotton candy. And to think, I never had to leave this seat, altho it was tempting to push on past Elkhorn to go for a swim at Camp Timberlee.
Timberlee? I have to check it out, just over the border a little further Harry?
Yep, not too far down one of those DD or MM or GG roads. Nice place to tent camp, with all the usual activities, including leathercrafts, horseback riding, hiking, rock wall-climbing or afternoon siestas.
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