End of one Journey, and another begins.
I am here and home. Sorry for the 2 day absense, I have been away from my computer and from home quite a bit the last 48 hours. I am back now, and will try not to leave you all in suspense so long next time.
The last post was...well a bit scary, at least for me. I kind of lost my composure a bit. (And I am deciding if I lost my dignity or maybe just some pride that I call dignity to feel less vain.) On our last adventure...I had an interview in the morning, lost a friend, and didn't even make dinner. Well most of that has been resolved or at least more resolved than a few days ago.
First the interview. It went great. Thanks for the prayers, I think that made it even easier. So my next interview is on Monday, which I suppose it means you better keep doing them. I get to meet the potential client and his family and see if they pick me, since I cleared the agencys interview on Friday. Again, thanks all of you it does mean alot to have all your very visible support.
After the interview I had a pretty good, yet strange day. I admit I was still rattled about my friend's death and the service being the next day. So I really didn't want to go home and kind of avoided it for most of the day. I got together with Rob and we had a good reading and talk after my interview and then I just kind of loitered around the church.
That might not sound so odd to you because you have heard me talk about church before and how I like it there, but it still sounds odd for me. I never used to feel any sort of comfort being in a place full of people that didn't have draft drinks until this last year or so. Part of me was happy being in a building full of good safe company, the other part of me felt embarrassed for being an aimless loiterer.
I also have been chatting alot the previous two days, which is how I handle stress. It's embarrassing to me because later when it's over I go...I can't believe I talked that poor guy/ladies ear off and she probably thinks I am a nutcase. Besides talking alot I also change topic every 50 seconds or so, which makes me feel bad for the poor people that are at the receiving end of it. A poor pastor who was trapped in his desk when I was on my chatting rampage got to hear the story and prayed with me, which was nice, and told me to feel free to stick around. So I did, I hope he wasn't kidding.
Joined my friend Rob for a Bible study and got to meet his small group which was nice since I got to crash a party of sorts. Good conversation, some prayers, and a lesson. A very good lesson and it kept me out til 11. Got to love it. So when I came home I crashed and went to bed. Thus no Janus last night.
The service went really well, and I held it together though came pretty close to getting to that danger zone before crying but after having really moist eyes. It's not that I was afraid to cry in front of people, I was just worried if I did I wouldn't stop and not having control of myself (like I haven't the last few days very easily did ) frightens me.
Then we went downstairs and got to hang out with the family. That cleared the air, we remembered the good times and shared stories. Put me alot at peace, his death was unexpected but I know he is with God. So I know he's in good hands, and seeing all the people that my friend impacted and brought light to and of course all the prayers and well wishes if you folks and those that got attacked by the Janus Blab bomb the last few days helped carry me through. Thank you.
I wanted to end this story, which is already way longer than I realized with a happy reminder that life goes on. I came home and wented to rest, but I was asked if I would help move stuff. Naturally I don't like to move things even on a good day, but today I didn't want to do it even more so.
A friend with a little girl was in need of furniture and furnishings for her new home, and didn't have much. What brought me back was looking at a box with toys in the back of the car. Remembering that it wasn't just an ordinary move and chore, but bringing light to someone's life and this was something I couldn't miss.
After I finished helping moving things an adorable little girl brought me one of the big Duplo Lego blocks over to me and gave it to me to share with her. We got to spend time with new friends, and by the end of the night this little one would come up to me to pick her up. I started the day mourning for a lost friend, by the end of the night I was "Uncle Janus" and a new friend to a little girl.
It's amazing how life changes so much and still amazes me. One journey ends, and another begins.
Have a good one all of you, and I promise to be back soon. Or at least I leave you a note next time.
J.
The last post was...well a bit scary, at least for me. I kind of lost my composure a bit. (And I am deciding if I lost my dignity or maybe just some pride that I call dignity to feel less vain.) On our last adventure...I had an interview in the morning, lost a friend, and didn't even make dinner. Well most of that has been resolved or at least more resolved than a few days ago.
First the interview. It went great. Thanks for the prayers, I think that made it even easier. So my next interview is on Monday, which I suppose it means you better keep doing them. I get to meet the potential client and his family and see if they pick me, since I cleared the agencys interview on Friday. Again, thanks all of you it does mean alot to have all your very visible support.
After the interview I had a pretty good, yet strange day. I admit I was still rattled about my friend's death and the service being the next day. So I really didn't want to go home and kind of avoided it for most of the day. I got together with Rob and we had a good reading and talk after my interview and then I just kind of loitered around the church.
That might not sound so odd to you because you have heard me talk about church before and how I like it there, but it still sounds odd for me. I never used to feel any sort of comfort being in a place full of people that didn't have draft drinks until this last year or so. Part of me was happy being in a building full of good safe company, the other part of me felt embarrassed for being an aimless loiterer.
I also have been chatting alot the previous two days, which is how I handle stress. It's embarrassing to me because later when it's over I go...I can't believe I talked that poor guy/ladies ear off and she probably thinks I am a nutcase. Besides talking alot I also change topic every 50 seconds or so, which makes me feel bad for the poor people that are at the receiving end of it. A poor pastor who was trapped in his desk when I was on my chatting rampage got to hear the story and prayed with me, which was nice, and told me to feel free to stick around. So I did, I hope he wasn't kidding.
Joined my friend Rob for a Bible study and got to meet his small group which was nice since I got to crash a party of sorts. Good conversation, some prayers, and a lesson. A very good lesson and it kept me out til 11. Got to love it. So when I came home I crashed and went to bed. Thus no Janus last night.
The service went really well, and I held it together though came pretty close to getting to that danger zone before crying but after having really moist eyes. It's not that I was afraid to cry in front of people, I was just worried if I did I wouldn't stop and not having control of myself (like I haven't the last few days very easily did ) frightens me.
Then we went downstairs and got to hang out with the family. That cleared the air, we remembered the good times and shared stories. Put me alot at peace, his death was unexpected but I know he is with God. So I know he's in good hands, and seeing all the people that my friend impacted and brought light to and of course all the prayers and well wishes if you folks and those that got attacked by the Janus Blab bomb the last few days helped carry me through. Thank you.
I wanted to end this story, which is already way longer than I realized with a happy reminder that life goes on. I came home and wented to rest, but I was asked if I would help move stuff. Naturally I don't like to move things even on a good day, but today I didn't want to do it even more so.
A friend with a little girl was in need of furniture and furnishings for her new home, and didn't have much. What brought me back was looking at a box with toys in the back of the car. Remembering that it wasn't just an ordinary move and chore, but bringing light to someone's life and this was something I couldn't miss.
After I finished helping moving things an adorable little girl brought me one of the big Duplo Lego blocks over to me and gave it to me to share with her. We got to spend time with new friends, and by the end of the night this little one would come up to me to pick her up. I started the day mourning for a lost friend, by the end of the night I was "Uncle Janus" and a new friend to a little girl.
It's amazing how life changes so much and still amazes me. One journey ends, and another begins.
Have a good one all of you, and I promise to be back soon. Or at least I leave you a note next time.
J.
Labels: faith, family, rants, work stuff
posted by Janus Torrell at 4:20 AM
4 Comments:
Nice to see you back Janus :)
Glad the interview went well, and it's good news about the 2nd interview. I wish you luck for meeting the client and his family.
Everyone handles stress differently, so don't worry about chatting to people. It was nice of the pastor to pray with you.
I'm glad that the service went well, and I'm glad you hung out with the family, and remembered the good times.
This little girl sounds really sweet. I'm glad she found her way to you, and I'm glad you are 'Uncle Janus' for her.
Frodo
God's will is stronger than ours, especially when we are open to it. So if you are open to hearing from God, He will show you marvelous things. Life does go on, Uncle Janus... Thanks for helping me be a light...
How do I say this efficiently?
I hit bottom once, and then proceeded to do the "manly" thing by keeping it bottled up inside. Later in life, I looked back and saw where those around me thought I was a useless jerk who never said much.
Not too long ago (but an entire lifetime back) I hit bottom for the second time.
(yes, my momma named me Yo-Yo)
But on this occasion, I did something v. different: I buttonholed any warm-blooded unit close by, and then proceeded to pour out all my blah-blah-blahs on each and everyone of them.
Know what? I learned from that that those who were real friends stuck close by me -- the ones who left in a hurry -- well, God bless em too, I say.
thanks frodo, good to see ye.
thanks anonymous :)
I hear ya Harry, I think I scare people just as much by being quiet as I am when I talk 1000 miles an hour, better just let it all I guess.
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