Janus goes Shopping
One advantage to not having kids around is that you can buy everyone gift certificates. I don't do one stop shopping, I do four or five stop shopping, that way I can stop shopping for the rest of the year.
But Janus, those are so impersonal! It's better than getting something that personally stinks that I selected for you. My family has long understood that I am a much better man when I am impersonal. Even my nieces and nephew love it when I get them a gift certificate that way I don't buy them something from the clothing department that makes them look like a color blind circus clown.
With small children and most men I prefer to get them something fun, so I get them an EB Games card, Bestbuy card, or Toys R Us card. The girls seem to like clothes in my family, so Old Navy. People that don't like either get something from a Resteraunt, this year it was Famous Daves. Here you go Dad, here is a card for 30 dollars of BBQey Goodness. Merry Christmas, and glad we made it through another shopping season.
They give me Gift Certificates too, so it's not like I am being unfair. It beats my old tradition of shopping on December 24th with all the other single and divorced men that go to the mall the night before and grab anything on the clearance rack that looks wrappable.
"Look Mom, I got you some bright orange oven mitts for Christmas."
"These say Happy Halloween?"
"Look they were the only thing left on the rack and they were 98% off...JUST USE EM. If you don't want them we can give them to Karl, since that way he could cook in his oven while deer hunting and not have to worry about getting shot."
"Thanks Janus, what a nice present, by the way we are taking you out of the will. Have a Happy Halloween you little jerk."
Gift Certificates require no wrapping, which I couldn't do to save my life. I could use 4 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper on a Hot Wheels car and it would still have gaps where you can see the car in the package. Now I just slap em in an envelope. May I point out also that I can bring all my gifts in to my brothers house with one trip and never have to do a few trips in the snow.
Finally it lets you spend the same amount on people, so no one feels shorted. If you give one kid a UNO card deck and give another kid a DVD Player, it tends not to be fair. Even if you give them exactly what they ask for. Since nothing anyone wants is the exact dollar amount you want to spend, make them worry about it.
I might be drifiting in and out once or more over the weekend, but in truth it's a holiday so if I don't see you, don't worry. It just means I got busy. Merry Christmas just in case.
But Janus, those are so impersonal! It's better than getting something that personally stinks that I selected for you. My family has long understood that I am a much better man when I am impersonal. Even my nieces and nephew love it when I get them a gift certificate that way I don't buy them something from the clothing department that makes them look like a color blind circus clown.
With small children and most men I prefer to get them something fun, so I get them an EB Games card, Bestbuy card, or Toys R Us card. The girls seem to like clothes in my family, so Old Navy. People that don't like either get something from a Resteraunt, this year it was Famous Daves. Here you go Dad, here is a card for 30 dollars of BBQey Goodness. Merry Christmas, and glad we made it through another shopping season.
They give me Gift Certificates too, so it's not like I am being unfair. It beats my old tradition of shopping on December 24th with all the other single and divorced men that go to the mall the night before and grab anything on the clearance rack that looks wrappable.
"Look Mom, I got you some bright orange oven mitts for Christmas."
"These say Happy Halloween?"
"Look they were the only thing left on the rack and they were 98% off...JUST USE EM. If you don't want them we can give them to Karl, since that way he could cook in his oven while deer hunting and not have to worry about getting shot."
"Thanks Janus, what a nice present, by the way we are taking you out of the will. Have a Happy Halloween you little jerk."
Gift Certificates require no wrapping, which I couldn't do to save my life. I could use 4 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper on a Hot Wheels car and it would still have gaps where you can see the car in the package. Now I just slap em in an envelope. May I point out also that I can bring all my gifts in to my brothers house with one trip and never have to do a few trips in the snow.
Finally it lets you spend the same amount on people, so no one feels shorted. If you give one kid a UNO card deck and give another kid a DVD Player, it tends not to be fair. Even if you give them exactly what they ask for. Since nothing anyone wants is the exact dollar amount you want to spend, make them worry about it.
I might be drifiting in and out once or more over the weekend, but in truth it's a holiday so if I don't see you, don't worry. It just means I got busy. Merry Christmas just in case.
posted by Janus Torrell at 2:58 PM
7 Comments:
You could always buy someone Civ 3 Complete for Christmas. If they don't appreciate it, well, I know someone else who would like it very much. lol
Frodo :)
Merry Christmas, Janus!
hmm Frodo that is a plan...might have to give it to someone that doesn't have a computer...muahaha
Merry Christmas to you too Ned :)
Janus - I make it really simple, I don't buy gifts anymore! LOL, problem solved!
It's mutual I guess since I don't get anything, so why should I waste my cash?
Although when I used to give gifts I couldn't resist the urge to give a "Prick," gift to relatives I didn't like.
Instance, my sister in law with a slight weight problem who was mean to me before.
I gave her a food scale.
Ah, Christmas, hey it serves two purposes right?
Peace on earth and payback.
What more could you ask for?
Have a great Christmas.
Peace,
- Neo
I was discussing this very topic with a friend of mine today. We agreed that we don't like giving gift certificates. I must say, however, you make a very compelling case for them. Hmmm?? Anyway, Merry Christmas and thanks for the great post.
Have a nice Christmas Janus.
Frodo :)
Neo, sometime (probably next year) I will have to write how to use Santa for fun and profit based on what my dad used to do. Don't have too many people on the naughty list anymore, I might just be mellowed out these days.
Patrick, thanks for reading! When do you go shopping though, I am not so great at planning so I buy stuff closer to Christmas and I need a taser and a plow welded on my car just to drive in some places. So I think it's more of the desire to get away from other shoppers.
Merry Christmas to you Frodo, I still say Merry because Happy sounds awkward for me. :)
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