Ah-Choo, the bunnies are winning!
Taking a quick Blog break to clear my head and stop sneezing for a minute.
I finally decided to dust and oh my Lord have I needed to do this.
They aren't just dust bunnies, they are dust llamas! Where does this stuff come from?!?! I don't have alot of open windows? I don't have that much dead skin floating around do I? You would think I lived in the Sahara Desert!
So yes, I am housecleaning tonight. Not the most exciting of topics I realize. The house is empty at the moment, and it's just me and my swifter and about 100,000 Pledge dust wipes who can hold about half of a dust llama each. (takes Nasonex and quaffs a few benedrils so he can breath.)
I want to state something here for the benefit of the ladies that come and visit. Men do not expect you to do housework.
It is a myth, we are well past the 1950's belief that we come home from the office, you clean the house all day and make us a big turkey dinner, and Wally and Beaver do not tell me about their day because we are tired and deserve peace and quiet when I get home, and then later on we go into the den and fix all the crap that the Beav broke during that afternoon and I listen to him talk and give him sagelike wisdom all in a half hour.
So why doesn't my husband clean Janus? Or even...how come you have to wait until the Dust Llamas are bleating at you before you decide to clean Janus? Well let me bring you in on the secret.
We are not pigs on purpose actually. We just have high tolerance for filth. My father could live comfortably in a foot of dust on the floor and with the kitchen smelling like a U.N. Condemned chemical weapons plant. My mother starts breathing into a bag and looking for valium when she see's a wayward cobweb and cleans the house from top to bottom in a bout of insanity.
We only help you clean after a while usually because you threaten us, but normally we don't really notice it.
Think I am making this up? Have you ever been into a college boy's dorm? I rest my case. I would not suggest any mother do this without wearing one of those enviromental suits from the movie Outbreak. Back when I used to be roommates with Karl and his wife eventually moved in we knew that she loved him. If she didn't love him with all her heart she never would of tolerated our apartment.
So ladies I promise you, we don't avoid housecleaning because we love to drive you mad. We just really don't have the high standards that you expect from us in our housekeeping. We put it off because we have better things to do, like...anything else.
Today I have come to the conclusion that the house really needs me to work on it, so I have started doing that. I have also decided to avoid Llama alerts, that I should set up some sort of dusting scheduale since dust occurs whether I want it there or not. All part of my "Take pride in my home" thing I thought of doing. If I wanted to be biblical to make it sound better I guess I could call it "Stewardship" or something.
I also thought it would be really neat if I get one of those Inbox/Outboxes for myself. I have never had one at work before, and while some of you that have one may think I am utterly deranged for wanting one, I think it would be great for organizing my stuff. Books I am writing, blog ideas, articles, and mail and to do lists. I should also get more manilla folders for my filing cabinet drawer that has only two things in it.
I just read that last paragraph and now am wondering if Nasonex and Benedril have some wierd side effect that has rendered me insane, or if I am just wanting to take charge of my life. Well regardless of whichever it is, I need to go back to work, these Llamas are getting vicious.
See you all later.
I finally decided to dust and oh my Lord have I needed to do this.
They aren't just dust bunnies, they are dust llamas! Where does this stuff come from?!?! I don't have alot of open windows? I don't have that much dead skin floating around do I? You would think I lived in the Sahara Desert!
So yes, I am housecleaning tonight. Not the most exciting of topics I realize. The house is empty at the moment, and it's just me and my swifter and about 100,000 Pledge dust wipes who can hold about half of a dust llama each. (takes Nasonex and quaffs a few benedrils so he can breath.)
I want to state something here for the benefit of the ladies that come and visit. Men do not expect you to do housework.
It is a myth, we are well past the 1950's belief that we come home from the office, you clean the house all day and make us a big turkey dinner, and Wally and Beaver do not tell me about their day because we are tired and deserve peace and quiet when I get home, and then later on we go into the den and fix all the crap that the Beav broke during that afternoon and I listen to him talk and give him sagelike wisdom all in a half hour.
So why doesn't my husband clean Janus? Or even...how come you have to wait until the Dust Llamas are bleating at you before you decide to clean Janus? Well let me bring you in on the secret.
We are not pigs on purpose actually. We just have high tolerance for filth. My father could live comfortably in a foot of dust on the floor and with the kitchen smelling like a U.N. Condemned chemical weapons plant. My mother starts breathing into a bag and looking for valium when she see's a wayward cobweb and cleans the house from top to bottom in a bout of insanity.
We only help you clean after a while usually because you threaten us, but normally we don't really notice it.
Think I am making this up? Have you ever been into a college boy's dorm? I rest my case. I would not suggest any mother do this without wearing one of those enviromental suits from the movie Outbreak. Back when I used to be roommates with Karl and his wife eventually moved in we knew that she loved him. If she didn't love him with all her heart she never would of tolerated our apartment.
So ladies I promise you, we don't avoid housecleaning because we love to drive you mad. We just really don't have the high standards that you expect from us in our housekeeping. We put it off because we have better things to do, like...anything else.
Today I have come to the conclusion that the house really needs me to work on it, so I have started doing that. I have also decided to avoid Llama alerts, that I should set up some sort of dusting scheduale since dust occurs whether I want it there or not. All part of my "Take pride in my home" thing I thought of doing. If I wanted to be biblical to make it sound better I guess I could call it "Stewardship" or something.
I also thought it would be really neat if I get one of those Inbox/Outboxes for myself. I have never had one at work before, and while some of you that have one may think I am utterly deranged for wanting one, I think it would be great for organizing my stuff. Books I am writing, blog ideas, articles, and mail and to do lists. I should also get more manilla folders for my filing cabinet drawer that has only two things in it.
I just read that last paragraph and now am wondering if Nasonex and Benedril have some wierd side effect that has rendered me insane, or if I am just wanting to take charge of my life. Well regardless of whichever it is, I need to go back to work, these Llamas are getting vicious.
See you all later.
Labels: rants, work stuff
posted by Janus Torrell at 1:08 AM
7 Comments:
I have four or five of those books on how to get organized, but right now I am trying to read the one on procrastination. Okay. Fine. Right. You got me. I need to read the other one about not telling lies first. Ugh. Hey, saddle up a couple of those llamas -- I have a better idea.
I think my favorite book I have seen is the Idiots guide to getting rich. Well I am an idiot but I still ain't rich. Chapter 1. Don't buy self help books you won't read and save a few million
I have visions of you in a white apron and feather duster (heehee).
I hope you realise that now you have started this dusting lark, you will need to keep it up every week. Get those llamas tamed. :)
Frodo
I utilize a friend's philosophy in this regard - if you don't look, it isn't there.
In a tiny corner one can focus directly on the computer screen and if you don't get up and walk around, imagine the house is clean.
Sorry Frodo, I tend to like the policy Ned proposed. But I will see how it goes.
Thanks both for visitin
This is all very well but why doesn't someone research to find out why the llamas all congregate under the bed?
How do they know they'll be safe under there? And who told them where the bed is in the first place?
They like the shade?
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