Communication (A Janus Homework special)

“Spray them with a fire hose or maybe offer cash prizes?”
“No,” Mrs. Pierce answered, trying to look like that was a serious answer, “Usually you start out with a question, statistic, or joke as an icebreaker for a speech.”
“Ah yeah . . . thats it!” I said writing that in my notes.
I should know by now how to communicate according to my records. I took a mandatory Communication class in Jr. High and High School, had to give talks for a number of events, and I even have a Communications merit badge from Boy Scouts.
“They give a merit badge for that now?” my dad asked me. I really don’t know why he was surprised. They have a merit badge for Agriculture, Drama, and Medicine, very sad is the activity that the scouts have not invented a merit badge for yet. I have been out of the loop for a while, but I am sure they have Laser Surgery Awareness merit badges by now.
Communication is the art of communicating. Don’t blame me for that useless definition, that’s what my Webster’s Dictionary said. In grade school they told me not to define a word by using the same word in a slightly different sense. I suppose this does not apply to dictionary publishers.
So I will be kind and tell you what communication is, it means “listening and speaking, as well as body language used to deliver and receive information.” Whew, I had to make that up. Television and the written word are communication too, but let’s not overdo it shall we?
Unless you are a lecturer, politician, or just particularly social, communicating becomes more of a difficulty as you deal with life in general. When you are back in school and in the partying stage of your life, before you start settling down, you seem to have a lot more to talk about. That is because you are young and still know everything. As I get older though, I realize how much more stupid I am growing by the day, I have much fewer opinions. That, or at least I am sure enough that my opinions are too wrong to state them.
After a certain point you have to learn small talk. This is the art of two or more people discussing something they could care less about so that they can make everyone else think they are more social and witty. Sports, Music, and Movies usually are quite safe and meaningless and are good for small talk.
If you don’t learn small talk, people will think you are cold and unfriendly, even if they are only talking to appear less cold and friendly. This might work for a career in bookkeeping, but if you are a salesman you will certainly starve to death.
If you don’t practice small talk enough, you also run the risk of speaking “Strictly business” talk. This is a bad rut to get into because soon you will start wondering if people are talking to you because they need something.
“So why are we going out for this anniversary dinner? ...A ha! She wants jewelry!”
Sometimes people really just want to interact with you, so put the damn credit card away and learn to communicate.
Relationships involve communicating, which means most people are having trouble with both. Experts say that men report while women rapport. That is not always true. It is more accurate to say that in a relationship a person will always want one and receive the other. If you had a lousy day, people will want to ask you all about your day and get the details. If you want to tell people about your day, rest assured that everyone else is tired, busy, or would rather have peace and quiet.
Experts also say we need to communicate more in relationships. This may be true in many cases, but also some people would do better if they would communicate less. Don’t ask him “What are you thinking?” because it’s never romantic or what you want to hear. Never ask her “What’s wrong?” because honestly it’s probably you. Enough with the communicating already! Dr. Phil thinks we should communicate more to fix problems, but his ex wife probably disagrees.
The truth is no matter who you are, even if you only know one person in the entire world, you are going to disagree about something. If you found someone that agreed with everything you said, eventually you would find them to be an obnoxious know-it-all.
With facts that can be proven someone can see they are wrong and be corrected, but I haven’t met anyone that ever changed an opinion because someone screamed “You’re wrong! You’re wrong!” and jumped up and down on a table. That is also a great way to kill any chance of getting dinner invitations from anyone present.
When a disagreement in communication comes along, a.k.a. an opinion, chose your fights and words carefully. If it is a disagreement that needs to be resolved, compromise it. If it is a small matter, agree to disagree and let it go. Learn the difference between these two of course, it’s not “irreconcilable differences” and time for a divorce because your wife loves meatloaf and you do not.
Finally just learn to listen, after all communication is more about listening than it is talking. When my sister says to her husband “We need to talk” that means I need to talk and you better start listening. Communication is the giving and receiving of information. Some couples that have been married for decades say that they are comfortable with each other in silence. Think of why they may still be married for several decades next time the urge to communicate is overtaking you.