Self destruction of blog not approved by zoning

Well, we are still here.

I didn't push the self destruct button. Besides it just asks "Do you really want to delete this blog?" and doesn't even give me a cool count down sequence. No computer voice, no 10..9..8.., no nothing.
Since I am carrying over yesterdays conversation about lightsabers, today I have to rant about self destruct sequences. Do bad guys really worry about the good guys getting a hold of the secret lair that is normally so big you couldn't miss it, or do they all have self destruct sequences so that when they hire the evil contractors union they can shave some money off the estimate.

Dr. Evil: So we got the vats of acid, the missile silo, the escape pods, and the cool table with the trapdoors?

Evil Contractor: Yes, all good to go.

Dr. Evil: If you don't mind me asking, why do I have a giant exhaust door that they can fire a missile into and destroy my whole lair with?

Evil Contractor: Evil building codes require that we have giant exhaust doors for the sake of keeping the reactor cool.

Dr. Evil: Yes but wouldn't it be more logical to have a screen door on that?

Evil Contractor: That would require us getting permission from your evil homeowners association, and we have trouble getting them to call back. They insist that any external changes on your secret lair must be approved and match the exterior design of the other secret lairs in your association.

Dr. Evil: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Fine. Can I at least get rid of the self destruct feature this time, since my last 4 lairs have been blown up by someone pushing a big red button.

Evil Contractor: Well....we can. It would require us to customize your lair. You ordered factory model volcano lair template 17. We can remove the self destuct but that would require us to customize the design and we would have to call the association..

Dr. Evil: Oh to hell with it, talk to Frau, I need two advils and a beer.

So. Bad jokes aside. I have been here for 313 posts...I might as well stick around a while.
Don't forget me internet land.

Pardon my candor. (Read only if you really like to read peoples complaining)

This blog was originally designed for me to rant and not worry about people knowing who I am.

I failed in that because I decided to share, so sometimes I am less inclined to be truthful because I am concerned about people knowing when I am really feeling like crap.


Today is one of those days.

So with no apologies I am feeling irritable and grouchy.

Ever regret getting involved and making closer relationships with people? Somedays I do. Friends and family is what makes life worth living, but somedays I wish I didn't bother. You are less disappointed when you are not close to people. You don't have to hear about peoples problems when you don't talk to people. Sometimes getting to know people is just plain useless and depressing. I don't care to go far into that one just yet.

Today the smoke alarm went off, and I didn't see anything remotely similar to a fire. Yet it scared me. I was afraid to leave the pets, I was afraid I would leave and my house would be gone. I am embarrassed to be afraid of fire even though it has been almost a year.

I still have days where I am afraid to come home and the house is gone.

Today I am consumed with frustration, fear, anger, and depression. Too bad that won't make me have a cool red light saber and be able to move things. Instead it is crippling. I want to be well. I want to be as good as other people. I want to feel as inspiring and loving today as I should be.

Now this is not prose and this is not for anyone in particular so I am not going to wrap it up in a nice polished ending.

I am debating obliterating this blog and sparing the world this drama.

I will sleep on it, but then who knows.

I've had it.

Today's exciting headlines.

Don't have a lot of time so I will have to look at yahoo headlines.

Miley Cyrus is acting up Oh heavens what is the world coming to, if she doesn't settle down I will have to return the Hannah Montana sleeping bag, purse, and flamethrower that I recently got. I can't imagine a Disney "actress" acting up. I hope she settles down like Lindsay Lohan.

Huge Diamond Discovered. No big deal, I can't afford it. Maybe they will make it the official Hannah Montana Diamond and sell it.

NFL Player with a bad rep calls Miami player "Dirty." Well I guess that guy would know. With all the football going on that is the top headline.

America's tastiest chocolate chip cookie. At last a real article. Go cookies!

Where did the real news go?

What gets your attention?

Warning: personal feelings alert. I might actually talk about what I am thinking today.

What makes me believe in God to the point where I want to get involved in a community I didn't really know about or understand?

Truthfully, I think it is sacrifices.

I have never had a lot of money (compared to my neighbors I should say.) Until I got my Buick I never owned a car that didn't want me to have a tetanus shot. I didn't have the really glamorous job. I have never been famous and even really known outside of my immediate neighborhood.

In short, I have been pretty much playing it safe my entire life.

Then yesterday I heard my friend Tim (his real name) speak. Every story is different and yet the same in one aspect or other. You have someone who is doing very well in the eyes of the earth.
Great job, success, climbing a corporate ladder...the whole package.

Then you hear how meaningless it became and how they left a lot of it behind.

Now I have been told money will not make you happy since day one. I rarely hear about that though from people that had much of it. Kind of like a guy that is afraid of heights telling you that skydiving isn't that big a deal.

I have had the honor of talking and meeting many of my the leaders of the church that I go to. They have one thing in common. They could be great successful executives and probably could make it in fortune 500 companies if they wished. I am not exaggerating that point either. In fact many of the leaders walked away from the ladder less than 10 years ago.

Sales people, plant managers, software engineers, corporate trainers... people that I wanted to be years ago but never had the "personality" to be. Our modern Hercules and Achilles in today's world. People that can attain money and power that are the modern gods of today's world. God knows that's what I wanted to be and what I hoped to be someday.

Over 2000 years ago two pairs of brothers walked away from a profitable fishing business to live a life of danger and sacrifice. If they would have decided to rather just put a little extra in the offering and continue fishing....well the apostle Peter and apostle John among others would probably have faded into obscurity. The original disciples knew what sacrifice was as well. John is the only one of the original disciples to not be killed for the faith.

I often have to ask myself, would these people walk away from all that unless they knew what they wanted and needed was much more?

I haven't left a lot behind. I am occasionally wondering, and it happens more frequently, if I am willing to lose my life to gain it. Am I trying to live a double life?

Dee leeted

Had something, changing my mind. Deleted old post.

I guess I should say something else in this space to fill it in.

How about Orange Julius

Janus and his wild holiday weekend

Friday: Vegged. Wish I didn't looking back

Saturday: Went to evening services, ran the camera, went out to eat and watched "The Bank Job" with Bella.

Sunday: Bella and I went to visit my parents and sister's family. Sammy (the dog) went swimming in the lake while I avoided bees for a while. We went out to eat at the slowest service dining experience that I ever went to (Even worse than the Ruby Tuesday incident of '97, which is a story for another day) Which gave us more time to talk. Left my parents at midnight or so, had to fight our way to the door to escape the family.

watched "21" when we got home. I hope if they ever make a movie about me they will find someone that doesn't look anything like me to do the part. Hollywood can make card counting almost interesting.

Monday: Went swimming with our friends at their apartment centers pool. The water was great. Got to hold a newborn a bit and play with a excited 3 year old. Lucas and I got to play with an adult level erector set, one of those BBQ grills you can buy at the store that has about 50 small parts to put on it. The store clerk said it takes a half hour, it took us 2 hours.


Tuesday: Back to reality.