When you are still deciding what to be when you grow up.

It stinks when you don't know what you want to be when you grow up.

It's worse when you are in your 30's.

So tonight I am working on some fine paperwork for tomorrow, getting ready to work in the afternoon, and seriously considering what is next for me.

Even if I do figure it out soon, then my next step is finding out how to get there.

People ask me "Well what do you like to do?"

Nothing that pays, so I have to find something I like, or at least make enough to tolerate it.

Somehow I feel that is not the best way to approach the problem.

Well...will talk soon

Closed for weekend

Well, I am off for the weekend.


Keep my seat for me

A little better

Here but not here...come back tomorrow

dramas and addictions

I am tired.

I am tired of drama.

I miss when I was less...complicated. I am glad that it is pretty much me in blog land here, since I have not been dropping by other blogs yet. So I figure I can shout into the wind here and no one will mind.

I have been ignoring my phone a few hours. I have sunk into addiction patterns. Don't worry I haven't been smoking or tipping the bottle. Its these damn ruffles potato chips and youtube surfing. I was told today to be strong in God and not fall into my depression.

I failed miserably.

I am saying "I" an awful lot.

The funny thing about addiction is that some people have pet addictions and they regard some worse than others. I don't think because I am 170 pounds that eating out of compulsion is any less of a problem than if I was 400 pounds. We tend to focus on the externals. Drinking, drugs, and all that sort fo thing. I feel that me wanting to curl up in a ball and tune out the world is just as bad.

It's not about me though all the time, and I need to work on that. Lately my poor friends and family have had to be witness to my life drama. I am embarrassed to dump this on people. So I am going to dump it here...make some great stir fry...and talk to Bella when she gets home.

Tomorrow will be better.

Getting it off my chest and bad music

Thing that I would love to say but for legal reasons I would have to say off record.

"I Trust Him/Her about as much as Hannibal Lecter with a bottle of A-1 sauce and a school bus full of kids."

Yeah its immature and not really loving but I had to say it somewhere!

Today I am a bit in the dumps dealing with life's little dramas.

Though if I want to laugh for no reason at all I just have to listen to the Janus Torrell Future Ipod list of songs banned by the Geneva convention.

Der Kommissar featured by After The Fire.
Take on me by Aha
You spin me round (like a record) by Dead or Alive.

These songs make most people change the channel, for some reason I turn them up full blast and watch people cringe.

I am sure I have a few more all I have to do is ask Eric Bramlett for some truly agonizing songs from Jack FM.

Yeah it really was my birthday

Well no, I'm not dead.

Not yet at least.

I did just have my birthday yesterday, and I am 25 again. I will remain 25 until I have kids in the house, then I will move to 31 or 32 or something.

Alright, bad joke, I am 31. I am not afraid to be 31. What I am afraid of is my Dad telling me that from now on life is going to go really fast. Thanks for the warning Dad.

I am already noticing it in fact, today I went to work...for too long... and then I went to "The Box" to do some errands and answer some calls. I was on the way home when Rob called me up and said "Hey you fancy something for dinner" so I went out for dinner...and somehow it is 11:20 pm now.

Where did the day go? Time flies when you are having fun and all, but work wasn't fun and driving around isn't either. So I guess it is Rob's fault for buying me a delicious dinner for my birthday since I enjoyed that.

He made me age faster...drat.

Anyway I missed you all, I will try to be good and do this blog thing a bit more often and it looks like I will be here for a while.

Hope to talk to you soon, at least not another 2 months...sheesh.