A long series of short updates.

Rather than make a bunch of drawn out blog updates, I figured I would just sum up the last few days in a short order for my readers.

1. The immediate Crisis is in remission. My latest crisis where I asked for prayer is no longer an immediate danger. In other words, the prayers worked. I have a new set of things I need to do and am working on right now. However the life or death aspect of it has lessened, so that I am not wondering if I have to leave in a moments notice and am no longer in a constant state of panic. Ipray and people wishing to be updated will be given a full explanation (at request of course.) Thank you to all that prayed for me and sent me the well wishes, they not only worked but were greatly appreciated, and I wanted to let you know both of those things.

2. Reply to the comment and emails, and updates to my blog and reading of other blogs are soon to resume. So if you are anxiously awaiting an update for your comment or email, or just miss the bright ray of sunshine of me reading your Blog, fear not. I am coming back, it will have to start tomorrow though. Today I am at work until late.

3. Side work to resume, and new contracts to start. This is more for my partners and coworkers. Things will be back to normal, and we can work on planning and meetings again and my submissions, which will resume Monday at noonish. Jose is no longer going to be acting manager on my behalf. So Jose...stop acting this weekend.

4. Reorganization is currently being done and I am cleaning house. Don't worry no one is getting fired, that means I am updating the file cabinet and really cleaning my house. What it does mean is that I will hopefully be more organized and efficient. I cleaned my inbox out yesterday, and file cabinet is about half way done as of last night. Dusting and cleaning floors is next.

and finally 5. I am in good health. Monday someone did what some people would get in line and pay money to do, I got three punctures in the arm. Seriously, I got a Tetnus shot, blood drawn, and a TB test. I don't have the official blood results yet, but thanks to a wonderful source, (cough...thanks Mrs. Torrell) , everything looks good. Now I am waiting for the doctor to call and say the same thing.
I also got some sleeping pills to try and I feel great using them 3 times now. My doctor is also helping me with Stress management too. So all is great.

Hope to see you tomorrow or so. Thanks for coming by.

J. T.

What IS in a name?

Today is a shorty, since I went to bed instead of staying up to write a big article. So today I am going to answer from my mail bag and from a few people I know in person one of the more frequent questions I get from my blog.


1. Q: Why do you call yourself Janice? What is the story behind your name?

A: I have used this name in a few chatrooms, on this blog, and a few other select places. I have had a few people call me Janice. As in "Auntie Janice makes really good sugar cookies." It is actually said (Jay Ness) and I am named after a Roman God that has two faces and represents doorways or transition. I see myself in my name a bit, though I am hardly a Roman God (or anyone's idea of a god), I have a public and private face and I am currently working at going into a transition and maybe even getting rid of my extra face.
No my name is not really Jay, and I do not have any relatives in the Department of the Treasury. I just wanted to teach people how to pronounce my alias because nothing irritates me more after a while than being called "Ms. Janice" by people that think I am a sweet little lady in a chatroom. I can't blame anyone really because Janus is not as common as say "Zeus" or "Ares." So you heard it from me first. (I have recieved 5 in-person, 2 messenger requests, and an email about this, so I guess it really is a Frequently asked question.)

Part 2, What is the story behind your last name Torrell?

No actually it's not, my last name is actually taken from a friend that I used to hangout with in the college days. I was staying late and having a few drinks after hours with a few of my friend's that worked in the same bar, and the district manager dropped by unexpectedly. He asked who I was and what I was doing there. At that point one of the servers came out and I had to think fast.
I pointed at her and said "I am waiting for my sister to get off work, since she is giving me a ride home because I have had too much to drink." That apparently worked, and from then on they called me "Allen Torrell." I have been using it for a bogus name since, if I need one in a hurry.

So for those of you wondering how to say the whole name it is (Jay-ness Tore-El.)

Thanks for the responses. Now stop it for the love of God, I answered it already.

Loving advice to a teenage niece from Uncle Janus

Dear Elley,

I've heard recently that your parents have become old and stupid and I am really sorry to hear that. It usually happens to people when their kids turn about 12 or 13 years old. I guess the strain of having smarter, better, and younger people around causes their brain to melt.
I am sworn to secrecy but I will risk the other fogeys turning me into school pudding, and tell you our secrets.
Yes, it is true, the school's vanilla pudding is made out of people that dare to tell you kids the truth. That's why all the rest of us old people lie. Because I am your uncle though, I will risk it because I love you. Soon I will be getting old like your parents and will also become a complete idiot, and don't have much time.
It is true, your parents know absolutely nothing. They didn't have boys, acne, drugs, cigarettes, video games, schools, Cosmo Magazine, teen magazines, and curfews when they were your age.
Since I have never been a teenager, but I was around when your mother was for some reason despite her being older than me, it is time that I finally told you the truth.
Your mom never dated a boy in her life. She made up all those things like her going to the prom and going to movies with boys. When your grandpa Janus Sr. met your other grandpa Janus Sr. they thought that your father would be a great match for my sister Caroline. So your grandpa sold your dad to my sister in exchange for three head of cattle and a new blender. The cattle was ate long before you were born, but the blender is still at your grandfather's house.
So since your mom never dated anyone, she doesn't know anything about boys. Since your dad and I were always at least twenty years old, we know nothing at all about teenage boys. You are probably right in assuming that the 8th grader that has had 7 girlfriends since the last semester is definitely husband material. After all he is "cute" and "kinda sweet...sometimes", and that should be the basis for your entire relationship. He was mistaken the other 7 times but this time he is in it for the long haul for sure. I think you picked a real weiner, er, I mean winner here, and be sure to tell your mom I said so.
You're also right about school being stupid and pointless. I think it is awful that your mother wants you to learn such useless things like how to read and math. You will never need that crap in the real world, trust me. You should quit school as soon as you can. College is even more of a waste of time. I stay awake late at night at times regretting not quitting college earlier when I could of spent more time pursuing work in the fast food profession or being a professional blood donor.
So as I said you should find a way to quit while you are still young and know everything. Then you can convince some old geezer that wasted his life finishing high school and maybe even college and convince him that you are dedicated, smart, and perfect for the job- despite not finishing school.
In fact all the most successful people I know these days didn't stay in school. I can introduce you to Mr. Wicke. He is a very nice homeless man that lives near the dumpster at the White Hen. He dropped out of school early to take up the career of begging for people's loose change and collecting bottles of Mad Dog.
Mr. Wicke is about two years younger than me, but he looks about fifty years older because all that knowledge and experience has made him grow faster than his time. He is the happiest man in the world, and if you ask him he will probably deny it. That's because he didn't get successful by sharing this knowledge with just anyone.
Perhaps someday if you have some time after school, I can take you to meet him. We can learn all about his great intern program.
Of course, I may not get the chance to, since the others will turn me into the pudding before long. So if you don't hear for a while, don't eat the pudding.

Your loving uncle,
Screwtape...er Janus.

I donn't make missteaks (Apology for lack of an Editor)

This is one of those slightly apologetic posts that I feel obligated to do once in a while.

Rather than rant and rave about stuff and make a really long winded speech I decided just to itemize and offer brief comments to answer the comments I have recieved lately. (That means within the last 5 years, I am not that current.)

1. I find your blog offensive because of this certain article..blah blah. I have pretty much figured out that I can never make everyone happy, and sometimes I can't make anyone happy. Don't worry I am used to it, I hope I can get you used to me too. So please if I say something that makes you fuming mad and desire to have me hunted down and beaten I just ask you to check back the next day. I write new stuff almost daily (hopefully) and I might be able to redeem myself.

2. Your Grammar and Spelling is very Unprofessional. Actually so am I, but that's beside the point. The truth is I either had to fire the editor or give up caffeine because of my budget, so the editor had to go.
I do actually have spell check and a grammar checker, but I hardly ever use it. I will admit that my English teachers would not claim me unless I became a best selling international author. I rarely run checker programs, I don't do multiple drafts for a blog entry on "How I like Oreo cookies," and I was threatened bodily harm if I wake them up at 4 am so they can read my Blog and check it for mistakes.
Speaking of 4 am, thats another reason why my blog usually can be tried for "crimes against humanity." Let's see how well you can write about an hour before you go to sleep and drinking Sleepytime tea.
I do apologize for those of you that might get this on feed to your email. (Lord knows why anyone would do that.) Because I usually edit and change my post slightly a few times after I read it, and it might send you an update everytime I mix up "to" with "too". I hope that my mistakes aren't so glaring that they distract you.
And finally you may have noticed that I try really hard to make this readable to people of different levels of education and sensitivities. So I avoid using the "F" bomb, colorful ways of saying excrement, and other lovely substitutions for polite speech. This isn't because I am overly sensitive really, it's because I want to have something that you can normally read without having to be embarrassed. Besides if one says such things too often it really cheapens your writing.
I don't think I can cheapen it too much more, otherwise I will have to do a bluelight special.
In the past I didn't have a problem with using profanity a lot more because I didn't care if you read this or not, but really I have become a hack now. Well scratch that, a hack get's paid. The point is, what is the point of publishing it on the computer if I didn't want you to read it. If I was doing this all for just me I would write it in a journal and never let anyone read it, like that guy that was in my English class with the eye liner that was a poet but he worked at Taco Bell on the side.

Ok This is getting too long (Trying not to do that too) so quick quick wrap up. Yes you can link to this site, I would be honored, unless you have a website called "Blogs that really stink.com." I do link to other sites, though a little more rarely. You can email me at Mynameisjanus@yahoo.com and its on my profile page. No I don't make Balloon animals, my giraffe looks like a poodle that Bob Barker tried to neuter blindfolded. Yes, I really did say quick wrap up...in fact this article is over now.